Breastfeeding

So apparently the huge debate right now is about public breastfeeding. Here’s a few reasons why this shouldn’t even be an issue:

1) If a man can sit in the fitting room at Victoria’s Secret while waiting on his girlfriend/wife/whatever while I and other women are in there attempting to fit ourselves, a woman should be able to breastfeed wherever she feels like it.

2) You can’t complain about both things. Me, personally, one of my biggest annoyances is crying babies. I know it’s inevitable, but most of the time I end up getting a headache. However, I know it’s a part of raising a child, so I would never say anything other than, “Can you pass me an Advil, please?” to whoever I am with. However, there are some people who like to complain about crying, whining babies in a very outspoken or even passive aggressive manner. We all know that baby is probably hungry or sleepy. So you can’t complain about a hungry baby crying in the middle of the store and then tell the mother to go home and feed her baby elsewhere. I’m sorry. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. A mom feeding her child is a lot less distracting to me than a screaming baby that can be heard from all corners of the store. You can choose not to look, but you can’t choose to unhear. (Shout out to all you momma’s out there who have been in that position before. Props to you. I don’t know how you do it. This could also be why I haven’t had kids yet. Who knows. Whatevs. Y’all are awesome.)

3) If you’re one of those that thinks mothers should be forced to go to the bathroom and feed their child then you should do a few things: #1. Eat all of your meals in a public bathroom for a week and we can talk. And #2. Offer to watch their cart and their belongings outside of the bathroom while they breastfeed their child and make sure no one steals their stuff :).

4) It’s TOTALLY cool and even applauded for celebrities to walk down the red carpet dressed like they’re attending an ABC (anything but clothing) party, but it’s not okay for a mother to use her boob as way of feeding her child in public?

So this:

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But not this:

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THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. 

 

I’m not saying breastfeeding should be a free for all where we go from having a few nude beaches on the coast to being an entirely nudist society (not that there’s anything wrong with it if that floats your boat). I’m not asking for every mommy to whip out the nippy for the whole world to examine. A blanket or a cover isn’t going to kill you, your baby, or any other weird onlookers. There has to be some sort of compromise here. Women shouldn’t be shunned from the public for raising the future people of the world. 

 

Peace, love, cats,

kp

To the Women Who Say They Don’t Need Feminism…

Let’s just take a minute or two to talk things out. Here’s a new perspective. Feminism wasn’t created specifically just for YOU. And considering a large majority of posts that I have seen on the Facebook website are predominately posted by white, elitist females, you’re also probably right, you probably don’t need feminism as much as others do WRONG. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND FEMINISM MORE THAN ANYONE. The funny thing about feminism is that it doesn’t see color. Feminism isn’t necessarily a personal thing; It’s not just about you. It’s about all of the other people in the world who have it way worse than you. It’s for all of the women in the world who have it better than you. And lastly, it was created for the people just like you. 

You might feel like you don’t need feminism in your life because you believe your husband treats you as an equal. You might be the breadwinner. The only problem with feminism is that we fought so hard to be able to get out into the work force, that we didn’t even realize we were actually signing up for two jobs. Just because we picked up more hours at the office, doesn’t mean your precious hubby is clocking in at all at the house. How many of you are still waking up in the morning and getting your kids ready for school by making breakfast, packing lunch, ironing your man’s shirt, getting people dressed, feeding the animals, etc. on top of getting yourself ready, THEN going to work all day long, just to come home to a dirty house that must be cleaned, taking the kids to whatever after school activities they choose, making dinner, doing laundry, feeding the animals again, picking out outfits for the next day’s events, helping kids with their homework, making your man a sandwich, grocery shopping, etc., while your beloved “equal” sits on his ass and drinks a beer during the game? Did I mention that somewhere in there you’re still supposed to work out, eat right, and be healthy for your husband all so that you can look good during sex? DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE EXPECTATION OF SEX. (That is quite possibly the longest sentence I’ve ever composed, and I’m sure there’s quite a few grammatical errors. Spare me; it was to make a point.) I agree, I hope, I pray that not all marriages and relationships are to this extreme, but for many, this is a reality. Keep in mind that being the breadwinner, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re equal or better: It just means you have more shit to do. 

To those that say it’s a trend. Really? You mos def just slapped Susan B. Anthony in the face. Wikipedia will tell you that feminism really started to rally in the 1960’s and 70’s. But I have to disagree. If it weren’t for those people fighting for our right to vote just a little less than 100 years ago, our nation wouldn’t be anywhere near as great as it is today.  And I’m sorry, last time I checked, a “trend” isn’t something that has lasted for almost a century. Fannypacks, #YOLO, and tramp stamps? Those are trends. Feminism? Not so much. It’s a movement.

No one said you had to play the victim. But don’t you dare for even a millisecond sit there and act like the women of today/ever aren’t/haven’t been catcalled, have higher odds of getting raped, or paid less. Do your homework. It’s a real fact. Believe me, I’m aware that men can be raped too. But feminism isn’t saying that men deserve it. Feminism simply wants a world where sexual violence no longer exists (here’s the best part of this sentence –>) FOR BOTH ALL GENDERS. Feminism is fighting to end the notion that just because a woman wears a dress 1/2″ too short or a revealing top that she’s asking for rape. I feel like we should all be able to agree on that one. I guess all those guys that wear cut off t-shirts and bro tanks w/ a hint of nip slip at the gym are DEFINITELY asking for it. The whole #NotAllMen thing is just nauseating to me. I mean, let’s get real here, we all know that not every single man to have ever walked the face of this planet is a womanizing, sexist, man whore. BUT I can say that a vast, and when I say vast I’m talking like 99% of women everywhere, have at one point in their life had a beer bottle shoved up their skirt, their ass slapped, body groped, whistled at, been stared at and and feeling like the onlooker was mentally undressing them, been pressured for sex, made to feel bad for not having sex, made to feel bad for having too much sex, made to feel incompetent just because she is a woman, asked if she was on her period (hence the bitch face you get right after), heard the phrase, “you (insert whatever action here) like a girl!”, sold for sex, used as collateral for some kind of bet or arrangement, asked for a nudie pic and then shamed for either sending it or called a prude for saying no, made to feel bad for having/not having an abortion, been told they couldn’t do something because that was the “man’s job”, shamed for not falling in line withe the gender norm of a pretty, pretty princess, OR had the fact that they are a woman used against them in any kind of situation. Tell me something like anything from the above list hasn’t happened to you or someone you know and love and then we can talk about why women don’t need feminism. 

Now let’s talk income. For the past ten years, data has shown that women are making 77 cents to every man’s $1.00. (Keep in mind that this is just in America. Some women in other countries still aren’t even allowed to be educated, much less work. That’s an issue I’ll come to later.) Don’t believe me? Check out this article from Forbes here. Now please, tell me you’re equal. I believe we all recall the line from Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that”. 

We still haven’t had a female run for president yet. The closest we’ve come is to Sarah Palin and she was intended to be McCain’s Robin of the duo. No one seems to think that’s a problem? I don’t want to hear, “Women are so emotional and rash they wouldn’t make good decisions when it came to war and foreign policy.” Let’s just set one thing straight, women fight a war every damn day they walk this planet. It is because they are a woman that would make them equally, if not more readily equipped to make such heavy decisions. Also, keep in mind that men have a shorter life expectancy than women for many reasons: ONE OF THEM BEING DUE TO RECKLESSNESS AND SPONTANEOUS, IDIOTIC DECISIONS. 

In a social psychology class (Shout out to Dr. C!) I took recently, I made a portfolio of some instances of gender inequality has occurred in the sports world. You want to say you’re equals to men, but I bet you couldn’t name 5 current WNBA stars and who the play for, yet could name the whole roster for your favorite male football team. Feminism is looking forward to the day that any athlete who identifies with the LGBT community can be who they are, to the public, and 1) it not be made a big deal, 2) not be the only one of their kind, 3) not discriminated against. To name a few you’re more than welcome to look up Chloe Jonnson, Caster Semenya, Michael Sam, or Britney Griner. You can also check out the Body Issue that is published by ESPN Magazine annually and see what is has to say about body image and things of that nature. Feminism is looking for the day that a little girl can sign up for Junior Pro football and it not make breaking news. The first to have made these steps into this part of society are very, very brave, and again, we still have a looooooooooooong way to go. 

If you think I’m making all of this up, I’m only going to ask you to do one thing: Check out this page on Tumblr. It provides real-life examples of sexism that happen to women, just like you, on the daily. 

Now, how selfish of me to spend all of my time discussing issues of 1st world women. We haven’t even scratched the surface for what it’s like for women in 2nd and 3rd world countries. You like the fact that you get to chose your husband? Most women don’t in these areas. OH NOW YOU WANNA BE PRO-CHOICE DON’TCHA? In certain areas of the world, women are valued based on three simple things: 1) Their family name 2) Their purity (and if they lose this they are oh so screwed) and 3) How much money/gifts mommy and daddy can pay the hubby’s family on the wedding day. In some countries, women are still seen as an equal to an expensive, virgin, lamb (or whatever cute animal you want to sell for profit). Don’t get me wrong, we have a very similar system in America (think about it, who  pays for the wedding, and who pays for the honeymoon?). Many of these women and young girls are married off to men who are twice their age, when they have barely reached puberty. Women in these parts of the world are often illiterate. Yes, we absolutely take that for granted. They either can’t afford it, not allowed to attend school, or they do attend school for a little while, just for it to be ripped away from them to come home and help mommy with the chores at home. Many of these countries and regions have started legislation to make radical changes to this sad, sad fact, but there is still a long way to go. So like I said, you’re right, YOU may not need feminism, but these women do. And quite frankly, it’s a little selfish of you to not think that all women at least deserve the right to be educated. Then there’s female genital mutilation. If you don’t know what that is, feel free to watch this quick vid and/or do some research on your own. It’s disheartening because a thing like this still exists. It’s disheartening that even women who want to break the cycle can’t because that would mean their daughter’s will never get married. It’s disheartening that anyone would whine about going the gyno, say they don’t need feminism, and still say that these poor girls don’t need it either. 

We don’t always fight battles for ourselves. Sometimes we have to fight battles for other people who are in desperate need for a voice. That, my friends, is what feminism is all about. 

One thing I think we all have to realize is that equality doesn’t necessarily mean justice. See here: 

Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 2.33.10 AMI’m not saying that men don’t have issues either. They have been gender stereotyped just as much as females have. They’re supposed to be the strong, cold, aggressive, leader of the pack, and sometimes, honestly, that’s a lot of frickin’ pressure. Feminism isn’t saying that we should send men to Mars. But women just made it to the spot light where men have been dancing for quite some time now. Don’t cancel the whole show just because you think it’s unfair that we’re kicking them off the stage. (Which by the way, we’re not. We’re just asking for a few more spotlights for all of us [men and women alike] to dance in.)

None of this was to make anyone feel bad. If you were offended, I sincerely apologize. I just wanted to provide a little insight to what feminism is really all about, and why we actually need it in our lives.

Whatevs. 

Peace, Love, Cats, 

kp