Dear College Football,
This morning I woke up to the horrible notification that one of my friends was accused of sexual assault and rape. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if it wasn’t the billionth time it has happened in the past couple of seasons within the sports world. I’ve learned that each and every week, some college football player somewhere will be accused of sexual assault/rape. However, I read the comments on the story, and that to me was more disturbing than the story itself, and rape is really disturbing. So to my dismay of the whole situation, and the fact that it continues to be an issue, I’m writing a letter to you (the college football nation) to inspire some sort of change.
To the Players:
First of all, I would just like you to know that you have single-handedly made Saturday’s my most favorite day of the week. It might not be much, but your blood/sweat/tears/vomit/dedication is greatly appreciated in my eyes. But that’s where I leave it. I don’t know a large percentage of you, but I know enough to make it count. And though I firmly believe that this does NOT apply to everyone who puts on a uniform on Saturday’s, there are enough bad apples in the barrel to speak to the whole tree. Let’s just get this straight: While fans, including myself, will treat you like celebrities and worship the ground you walk on, that doesn’t mean you are one. I love watching y’all go out there and toss around the pigskin, but at the end of the day I have to remember that you guys go back to your dorm/apartment and do things that normal people do after a hard day’s work. The word “athlete” in student-athlete doesn’t give you a whole lot of entitlement–or at least it shouldn’t. I’ve had enough experiences in my time in college to know that a lot of you only look to girls for one thing: SEX. It’s sick. If you’re not getting laid then hanging out with the girl “just doesn’t benefit” you. Screw making friends in this world, let’s just have sex and leave it at that. You guys are professionals at the rail and bail. Here’s some direct quotes from my experiences with college athletes:
“I guess you not coming over then, cuz I’m tryin ta get laid”
“It’s booty call hours. If you’re not here to have sex then you need to leave”
“Send me a booty pic” and when I say no (because I guess I forgot we were in college and not 7th grade?), you decide it’s better off that we don’t speak. Fine with me.
“I’m not hurtin’ for sex. You and I both know that. So it’s fine”
FBP: “Nevermind, we can’t hang out..” Me: “Why?” FBP: “Because there is no benefit for me if you’re not gonna do anything”
and my personal favorite…
FBP: “You wanna go down to my apartment downstairs?” Me: “Oh. Haha. I’m sorry. I’m not goin’ (meaning I’m not gonna have sex with you). My bad if you got that impression.” FBP: “OH. That’s okay” as he sprinted away like he was trying to run his fastest 40 for the NFL Combine. Also, side note, he didn’t even live at that apartment complex.
It’s disgusting and you should all be ashamed. I don’t know when the transition occurs, but it’s something that you need to look within yourself and figure it out. College Football as a whole needs to be reframed when it comes to the views and values of women. We make up a large percentage of your fandom. We’re the ones screaming the fight song at the bars after a huge rival win. We’re the ones that are waiting for the bus to arrive until the wee hours of the morning to welcome you back home after a victorious road trip. We support you just as much as your fellow male fans. How dare you see us for one tiny part of our bodies?
Get it together and act like the “grown men” you claim to be. Having that mentality makes you nothing more than the 13 year old pervert that lives down the street. I get it. You have a lot of pressure weighing down on you, but you’re only adding more stress to yourself when you think this way. It’s a simple fix. Seeing women as people isn’t as difficult as completing a successful Reverse Flea Flicker. If you want to have sex, that’s fine, it’s a natural human drive, but for the love of all things that are good, please find one of the 2340834 girls that actually are willing.
To the guys that are decent people, I thank you. You prove that there are still good things in this world.
To the Coaches:
You also have a lot of weight on your shoulders. I get it. You have to succeed on the field, during recruiting, and as people. But the parents of all of these young boys are trusting you and your staff to take care of their babies. You don’t have to watch their every move. But you do need to instill a decent set of values. Keep your standards high. Remain consistent. When you have a player act out invest in a no-nonsense discipline. This applies to the whole team. Don’t let the star players skate by when some form of disciplinary issue pops up just because you need him on Saturday. It sucks, but if you let him slide, the entire team will see that and believe that it is okay for them to do so too. A lot of these guys aren’t being held accountable for their actions. That starts with YOU. I don’t mean to add another side to your already full plate, but if you want to avoid additional stressors from the legal system, do your best to shape these boys into respectable young men. I’m aware you can’t literally be their father, or keep tabs on all 100+ of your players at one time, but at least try to teach them the difference between right and wrong and yes and no.
To the Fans:
As a fellow fan, you sicken me the most. I was already a little annoyed with the story itself, but then I read the comments. As much as I love loyal fanhood, some of you are so loyal you’ve become blind and naive.
Being an athlete DOESN’T = Being a good person
The great sport myth is called a myth for a reason. While the intent of sport is to teach people discipline and good values, this is not always the case. When they get to a certain level of success, we lose every brain cell and logical thought. We feed them the luxury of fortune and fame. Let me just show you a few examples of what I have witnessed just today:
Do men these days not know what they could possibly do to a woman’s life when he decides to rape? It’s not JUST her career that’s over. A lot of these women break down. It’s not something that anyone should have to deal with. I’m sorry your name was tarnished, but public forgives and forgets. A girl that is raped does not forget.
So now females are the bad guys because your precious player couldn’t keep it in his pants? I attended a lot of the football and basketball parties in my time in undergrad, that doesn’t mean I was out to ruin their lives. It means that I was their friend. Not to mention, football players want girls at their parties. I think that goes for all males.
When you eat at a restaurant and you get food poisoning do you go back to that restaurant? Doesn’t the smell of the food that you threw up for 24 hours kind of make you nauseous even months or years later? Try being in a town that you aren’t from, surrounded by the colors of a team that has a player that raped you, AND he’s also one of the team’s most beloved. I’d sure as hell want to go home to. And gosh, why would the girl want to press charges when EVERYONE and their mother has already decided she’s lying, cussed her out, given her death threats, etc. Sometimes pursuing justice isn’t worth the extra emotional toll on top of already being raped.
I think rape kits look for more than just DNA evidence… but that’s just me. His career isn’t over. Just look at Jameis Winston. The kid was accused of rape, stole crab legs, screamed “F*** her right in the p*ssy!” on top of a table in the student center, and he still wins the Heisman and suits up on Saturdays. There are some people in this world that are just looking for money. If that’s the way you feel about the situation then stop reinforcing them by paying them off to not press charges. Let it go to trial and let him prove his innocence. We are just as much to blame as the one’s that do lie about it.
My personal favorite. It’s college football. It really should not be that serious. Like I said in my reply to this comment, if we for some forsaken reason do not make it to a bowl game this year, 10 years from now, no one will blame it on the girl that accused him of rape. Instead we will think back to October 4th, where we blew a 9 pt lead in the 4th quarter against Florida and couldn’t convert in the red zone if our life depended on it. We will think about to the time that we (almost) beat Georgia for the 2nd year in a row. We’ll think about the fact that it’s only Butch’s second year as head coach and he’s still building the program Brick by frickin Brick. Not to mention, this isn’t the first time that sexual assault has come up this year for the Vols.
Vols fans aren’t the only ones that do this though. It’s every one. As fans, we are so quick to slut shame because we honestly believe that the people we cheer for on Saturdays can do no wrong. We have to stop thinking like that. They are people too. They mess up; we all do. We can’t automatically take the athlete’s side just because he’s the athlete. We need to stop, be mature about it, and wait till ALL of the facts have been released. If these guys were normal people none of these assumptions would be made. Not every girl out there is a “gold digging whore”.
Saying He didn’t do it because he’s an athlete and she wants his money is equally as ignorant as saying Did you see her outfit? She was totally asking for it.
To the College Females:
The first thing we have to stop doing is assuming that they’ll want to date us if we sleep with them. 9/10 they won’t. You think you’re the only girl texting him good morning or the only one he calls at 3 am? You’re not. I’m not saying it’s right, but why would he want to settle down with just you when he has Hoe 1, 2, 7, and 9 texting him and asking to come over? We need to wisen up real quick. We can’t be so stupid with our actions. I’m all about being open with our sexuality. If you want to have sex, have sex. You’re allowed to do so just as much as our male counter-parts. But we have to be smart about our sexuality. We can’t just throw it to the guy that shows us some love for a night just because he’s the cool jock on campus. If he was just a random guy at the bar would you still be going home with him?
To the girls that do lie about being raped, I just want you to know that you’ve made it more difficult for the girl that actually did experience this trauma to come out and report it. It is because you lied that people automatically assume that the next girl is too. It is because you lied that the public assumes that we’re all just out here looking for money and trying to ruin people’s lives/careers. Think long and hard before you decide to report a sexual assault that didn’t happen.
To the girls that have been sexually assaulted, I apologize. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. But there are still some people in this world who have your back. Stay strong.
As a whole, we all need to make some changes. The fact that this is a weekly occurrence for all sports isn’t something that should be accepted. Why are we okay with this? What does it say about us a society? Change won’t happen unless we make it happen, so let’s make it happen. The sad thing is, this doesn’t even apply to just college football. It goes for all sports on all levels, from middle school to professional.
By the way: I’m not saying he did or didn’t do it. I simply don’t know. This blog isn’t intended to be a target at the current situation. It just sparked an issue that I’ve had with sports for quite a while now, and it’s something that I think we all need to contemplate.
A fed up fan